Kiss
Puke
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize