Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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