There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So vagazzling was a success
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
