I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
