Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
