how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
