yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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