well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
