glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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