i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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