Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
