In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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