my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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