there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
zippers are such a cool invention
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
