so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
