Jerry, you need to find god
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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