one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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