fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
