We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
