Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
