Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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