And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
