She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize