I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
