I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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