Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
