So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
