you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
