Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
