This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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