sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
