At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
