I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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