What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
