haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
