I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
