grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
