Only a mothe r could love this liver
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize