last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
