I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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