she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I lost the right to judge tonight
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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