ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
