whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize