i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
