she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My dick has a subreddit
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
