He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
