I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
