You're completely useless in the revolution.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I want to fling myself into the sun
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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