hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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