Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
