..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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