Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
