Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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