I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
