It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
