where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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