I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
