So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
