:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm having to shit out rocks
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
