Porn is love you can see.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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