Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize