So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
