Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
