hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
